I don't know

So I really like this guy, He's funny, smart, nice, cute etc. But when I'm around him he talks about Hot chics (ugh for me). Then when I start talking to my friends that are girls (about the guys who I think are cute), I sorta feel like he's listening (even if he acts like he's not). I feel like I'm making something out of nothing. He probably doesn't like me.

song

I look at the pictures of my family all smiles no frowns. perfect in every way far from the truth. Pictures tell lies just to make people jealous, of how happy we are. I stare in the mirror and wonder if that's really me. All I can see are flaws no one will ever love. I look in the hall and see the hate that scatters all. The pictures aren't my family, there lies, just lies. The smiles are imprinted on to make it look were happy. But were not but were not, no no no no no. Nooo, oh oh. Nooo, oh oh. No!

Hey world! I'm just going to open up cause I need to say something. lately life sucks, I act like it's great but it's not. I'm just seeing changes in the people I love that I don't want. My mom is drinking (just like my dad used to) I don't know what to say about my brother. He's also acting like my dad, the anger mostly. I thought all of that ended in 5th grade. It's hard living without anyone really to talk to, I feel like I'm in a deep pit with no contact.
I feel really apart from all of my friends, my life is a dream like state. Each night I have the hardest time trying to not break down and give up.